Black Hole Amplifier


In the mid 1980s the mega-amplifier wars were raging, and, as you know, I am very competitive, and I wasn't going to let some mealy minded designer of sand amps win the war, so I invented the world's only amplifier that was powerful enough to accurately reproduce the Voice of God, in the denomination of your choice.

This amplifier, as you can tell from the picture was huge….six stories high, and boasted some very unusual features…just to name a few:

You notice a 90 mm Howitzer Canon on top of the amplifier next to the tubes…this is the output stage protection device, and prevents any enemy planes from attacking.

The cooling tower not only keeps the output tubes running at the proper temperature but also provides the liquidity for the midrange and the speedboat you notice at the base of the amp.

All of the dials permit the owner to select the religious experience of his choice.

If you are looking for me, I am the figure in the lower right hand corner.

Able to produce 10 million watts into 0 ohms from DC to light, at minus 10% total harmonic distortion , this amplifier is a bargain at $267 million dollars.

This amplifier can not be sold in California because of pollution laws because it is powered by its own surplus US Navy submarine nuclear reactor.

You should be aware that The Black Hole eats big transistor amplifier for snacks at 3PM every day, with ten thousand gallons of fresh milk.

If you are a man who must own absolutely the most powerful amplifier, or if you are using some of those very popular 0 ohm speakers, this is the amp for you.

A small down payment of $1 million in unmarked bills in a brown shopping bag, or…why not charge it on your credit card?

Be the first on your block to own a Black Hole Amplifier.

This amplifier received RECOMMENDED COMPONENT by the Pope, the Chief Rabbi of Jerusalem, and Wanantankah.

Schematic available on request.



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