WRENCHER

"ONLY THE STRONG, SMART
AND FAST SURVIVE"©

THIS IS A TRUE STORY,
ONLY THE PLACES, NAMES AND ACTION
HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT

by Harvey "Gizmo" Rosenberg

WRENCHER(def):

WRENCHER™(n), (1) Man who loves to work on cars, motorcycles or trucks, (2) wheeled artisan, (3) poet of the asphalt, (4) Man who has motor oil in his veins, (5) connoisseur of wheeled beauty

There are as many Wrenchers in America as there are men and boys who love cars, because beauty is truth, and truths loves to do 0-60 in 4 seconds.

CARS ARE MUCH MORE THAN MACHINES: They are…tribal totems, religions, palaces of love, tribal totems, magic charms, time machines, transportation to higher dimensions of being, scared temples, musical instruments, definers of meaning and the American way of life, and nothing burns the wholey rubber of life better at stoplights on a summer Saturday night.

WRENCHER ENERGY: Is that enormous glowing glob of energy that shines around automobile passion...the energy that flows from millions of dreams that are filled with cars...as they should be. Who doesn’t dream the dream of their dream car?

Cars are important tribal totems, and define truth, beauty and the American way of life. They are our favorite way of artifying our lives. Wrencher is more than profound advice on creating and selecting beaudacious wheeled totems, it is also an action adventure story filled with the spills, chills and thrills that carmaniacs love. How big is our love of cars? It is America's biggest industry and tribal activity. Our goal here is to help you find, or, create a car, that is your Temple of the Wholey Highway.

We are in the midst of a Wrencher re-evolution because we need more primal beaudacity on the open road, and four wheeled computerized jelly-beans with air bags don't satisfy our soul. Are cars an important arena for male tool competition? Grunt YES if you want to drive a car that can go from 0-60 in 4 seconds

  1. America’s largest fan group
  2. America’s first car super-heroes
  3. A Person who has motor oil in their veins
  4. A wheeled artisan, poets of the asphalt
  5. A Person who loves wheeled machines

CARS ARE MUCH MORE THAN MACHINES

They are religions, vessels of dreams, initiators of young men, palaces of love, tribal totems, magic charms, time machines, transportation to higher dimensions of being, scared temples, musical instruments, definers of meaning and the American way of life, and nothing burns the Wholey Rubber of Life better at stoplights on a summer Saturday night to the rock & roll of life.

WRENCHER POWER: Is that enormous glowing glob of red, white and blue, high horsepower energy that shines around automobile passion...the energy that flows from millions of dreams that are filled with cars...as they should be.

WE love cars, because beauty is truth, and truths loves to do 0-60 in 4 seconds.....and that means WE are millions.

 

CHARACTERS

(partial)

Cam Wrencher: Our hero. Youngest member of Wrencher family. 24 years old. Desperately wants to be a champion racer like his father. who disappeared 20 years ago. No matter how hard he tries something always goes wrong. Has powerful dreams that he doesn’t understand in which experiences the past and higher dimensions of racing reality. Will lead the family’s race team. Eventually discovers that his father is in racing Hyperspace and is able to make contact with him in his dreams. Battles evil Dr. Snafu. Learns from father and Gonzo how to race in HyperSpace.

Grandpa’ Wrencher: In charge of the Wrencher Family Garage and is trying to help Cam deal with the turmoil of his life. Has got great stories to tell about past racing masters.

The Wrencher Brothers: Have responsibility for the top secret Wrencher Brigade. Speedo is killed on a mission, leaving Tork in charge.

Wind in Face: Apache Racing Techno-Shaman who guides Cam on vision quests so he can discover his WHOLEY RACING UNITY; Takes Cam back in time and let’s him discover the racing skills of the ancients. Was his father’s teacher.

Axelroad Wrencher: Cam’s father, who 20 years ago, first encounters GONZO an ExtraTerrestial UFO/hot rod racer at Rozwell while he was on the way to a drag race in California. Gonzo lets him drive the UFO/racer in a race in racing hyper-space and Axleroad is told that he can not go back to earth because his knowledge of higher dimension of racing will cause chaos all over the world. Becomes his family protective spirit....and watches Cam very closely. Only Axelroad can snafu Dr. Snafu.

Dr. Snafu™: Master of chaos, destruction and everything that ever goes wrong with cars. This evil man is trying to wipe out the Wrencher Clan. Doesn’t know that Axelroad is in racing hyperspace, and thinks he killed him. Kills Speedo Wrencher in a Wrencher Brigade raid to rescue the Vice President.

Angelina: Axelroad sends this awesome beaudacious babe to earth as Cam’s guardian angel. She is in her own right a skilled racer. They fall in love. She is constantly wrestling with whether she should tell Cam about his father who art in racing heaven.

Sirena: Works for Dr, Snafu. This awesome bad to bone babe is trying to seduce/sabotage Cam and get him to loose his focus. Competes with Angelina for both Cam’s attention and on the race track. She is falling in love with Cam.

General Steward: 20 years ago he tried to have Axelroad Wrencher assassinated because he thought he was a spy. Knows that Axelroad is in racing hyper-space because Axelroad is feeding him the secrets of hyper-dimensional race cars that he is using in the vehicles that are being designed for the Wrencher Brigade.

Gonzo: Axelroad’s ExtraTerrestial racing bro’

Motorhead: The ExtraTerrestial motor tuner whose head is in the shape of a motor.

 

WRENCHER ACTION

SCENE 1: The screen is black. We hear the deafening roar of a pride of saber tooth cats

The big red sun begins to rise on the screen and we see a prairie teeming with game, and as we zoom in we see a group of about ten humans picking at the bones of a dead animal. It is 200,000 BC.

Hidden in the grass, and watching these puny humans picking at the bones is a pride of saber tooth cats, and they begin to edge forward, while licking their lips. We see their huge teeth. With another deafening roar they leap out of grass and start chasing the humans who are running at top speed in terror.

We see a saber tooth tiger run and leap onto the back of one running human and sink its teeth into its skull. We hear the crack of skull and the screams. We see more of the Saber Tooths catching humans and sinking their teeth into their skulls....we hear the crack of the skulls and the scream. We see the flesh being ripped..

One young male human is running in terror and we see the cat about to catch him and leaps, and at exactly that moment the human suddenly disappears. He has fallen into a crevice.

The sun is about to set and we see two hands on the edge of the crevice and see a bloodied terrified face peer over the edge and look around. We see the saber tooth cats finishing their meal of what was a clan of humans and begin to walk off. Our terrified survivor, shaking in terror, crawls out of the crevice and walks around and looks at the remains of his family.

SCENE 2: The screen goes black and we hear a human scream.

Up jumps the face of Cam Wrencher, our 24 year old hero, who has just woken up from a recurring nightmare. Cam is shaking all over and stumbles out of bed and walks over to his dresser and looks at the old brown photographs of his father holding his trophies, standing next to his race cars.

Screen goes black and we hear a roar (the sound of the saber tooth cat mixed into the sound of race engine)

It is night and we see Cam in his race car and he is racing around a track as fast as he can. We see a gnarled hand throw a switch "SNAFU" and then we see Cam’s car start to slide sideways through the curve, crash into the wall, start turning over and over and landing in the midfield, upside down.

SCENE 3: We see a tow truck bring Cam’s wrecked car into the WRENCHER FAMILY GARAGE. Grandpa Wrencher signs for it.

We are now in the top secret garage of THE WRENCHER BRIGADE. We see big strong muscular men welding, hammering and covered with grease..building awesome new military vehicles. Grandpa Wrencher walks over to three men, the older Wrencher Brothers, and beckons them to the office.

"Boys we are having a real problem with Cam. Last night he broke the lock at the track and decided to practice, wrecked his car and almost killed himself...and I don’t know what to do. He wants so desperately to be champion like his father, but he keeps on screwing up.

Tork Wrencher, speaks...."We know. We have all tried, but there is a demon in him and it is going to kill him.....maybe it is time to send him to WIND IN FACE.

We see Cam limping into the Wrencher Garage. There is a bandage around his head. He looks at his wrecked car and Grandpa walks over to him. There are tears in Cam’s eyes, and he says, "Will I ever be a champion like my father?" and he puts his arms around Grandpa and starts crying....."Will I ever know what happened to my father...why did he disappear?"

SCENE 4: FLASHBACK TO 1980 WHICH EXPLAINS AXELROAD’S DISAPPEARANCE: Axelroad Wrencher and his friend Mike are hauling their "funny car" drag racer across America to drag race in California and they decide to camp out on a beautiful star filled night in Rozwell, New Mexico. While they are sitting around their camp fire, they hear a gigantic roar pass them and they see a bright light streak across the sky and a hear loud crash in the desert very near their camp fire. They are terrified but they run over the crash site and they see a space ship with the tail fins of a 1956 Cadillac....but it looks more like a hot rod than a space ship. Axelroad and Mike hide in the bushes and see the space ship’s trunk lid open and watch as man who looks very human wearing an aluminum fabric mechanic’s jump suit walk towards them. He walks right up to the Wrencher brothers, who are stiff with terror, and asks, "Do you have a spare 3/4 inch wrench?".

The Wrencher brothers discover that they have just witnessed the world’s first ExtraTerrestrial racing accident. GONZO, the driver of the hot rod from outer space lost control of his race/UFO, while traveling around the fourth curve at the annual HYPERDIMENSION 5,00O,000 RACE, at near the speed of light, hit a hyperspace hot rod, that was broken down, and crashed through the time/space continuum and into the three dimensional desert of New Mexico on June 6. 1998.

Gonzo walks over to Axelroad’s funny car and checks it out and remarks that he used to love to race funny cars on earth a few light years ago and misses the excitement. Gonzo tells the Wrencher Brothers that in Hot Rod HyperSpace you can travel back and forth to different time quadrixes and to higher dimensions of racing reality, and race in all of them. Gonzo asks the Wrencher brothers if they would like to try some eight dimensional hot rodding, and offers them a trip in his Time Rod...if they will help him fix it so it can fly back home to Hot Rod HyperSpace.

Gonzo and his new friends head off to California to race and gather the parts they need from high tech aerospace companies to fix his Time Rod. Gonzo helps with the drag races and teaches Axelroad and Mike some engine tweaks from hot rod hyperspace..... so they win all the races. They travel around and start buying very high tech aerospace parts to fix the Time Rod.

We notice at a computer terminal in the Pentagon a huddle of men discussing the computer print out..... General Steward says, "These parts were purchased by a group known as The Wrencher Brother’s Racing Team, and they must be a cover up for a spy ring which is trying to duplicate our experiments with magnetic pulse modulation propulsion". General Steward says, "Send Colonel Wright to deal with this" , and out steps an outrageous military babe who snaps a salute, and says, " I’m ready" .

Axelroad, Mike and Gonzo, after winning every race possible are driving back through the Rocky Mountains, back to where Gonzo’s Time Rod is so they can fix it, and as they are driving down a steep mountain road we see a sniper, in the form of Colonel Wright, take aim and fire and The Wrencher Brother’s Truck swerves out of control and sail off the edge of the cliff into an exploding fireball.

As Axelroad opens his eyes and realizes that he is in a very strange place he see his companion the first thing he says is..."How did you get us out of there?". Gonzo says..."that is how we avoid getting speeding tickets in Hot Rod HyperSpace...we duck into other dimension of reality for a couple of minutes until...the Hyperfuzz™ passes us by, and then we pop back".

We see our heroes pop back into normal earth reality carry a big box of parts towards the Time Rod.

We see the Time Rod being repaired and ready to blast off. Everyone puts on their safety belt. Gonzo revs the engine and selects the sound he likes best, and squirts the aroma of burning rubber into the cockpit and puts the pedal to the floor..with the scream of ten trillion horsepower the Time Rod burns cosmic space/time rubber and is shooting down the freeways of Hot Rod Hyperspace.

Axelroad asks Gonzo if he can take the control of the Time Rod, and he suggests that he if he hurries he can make the starting line of the 1914 Pikes Peak Race, or if he prefers he can enter the 1938 Indy 500, or would he prefer to enter the Four Dimensional Drags, or the Cosmic Worm Hole German Grand Prix sponsored by Mercedes Benz.

SCENE 6: We see a small light flickering in the center of the screen, and we hear a ceremonial Indian drum beating and as we zoom in we realize we are on the top of a mountain bluff out west and two people are sitting around a fire. It is Cam and the famous Apache racing techno-shaman, Wind in Face. We see Cam’s face flickering with fire and his eyes begin to close.

It is Rome 100 AD and Cam dressed as a chariot racer is checking out his horses. He gets into the chariot and takes his place on the line, and with the trumpet blaring, the race begins, and we are in the middle of the Ben Hur race,(watch the movie) and Cam is struggling to stay in the race, and as he rounds a bend his chariot flips over and is crashing.

Cam opens his eyes, and looks at Wind in Face, who is smiling, and says, "Left hand turns in a chariot are a bitch".

SCENE 7: We are back in the Wrencher Brigade and we see General Steward meeting with the Wrencher brothers, and saying, "Time is running out. The situation is almost explosive. If we don’t have those vehicles ready in two days, it may be too late. The Pentagon is counting on us to rescue the Vice President, and without those vehicles, the mission is impossible".

SCENE 8: Cam is standing on the back of a black stallion and is blind folded, and trying to keep his balance. Wind in Face makes a clicking sound and the horse starts to walk and Cam falls off. Wind in Face picks him up and says...."You are out of balance. You must learn to feel your connection...you must become the horsepower".

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